“I know what to do, but I just can’t get myself to act”.

That right there is a declaration of defeat to lack of self-control.

If you are not careful, many similar statements come into your thoughts and out of your mouth to cement unhealthy habits in you.

Some of them include, “I just lack discipline” or “I don’t know what happens, but I just find myself demotivated”.

The more you say such things to yourself, the deeper you dig into a pit you don’t want to be in. In this pit, there is no guarantee of anything getting done. All is left to chance, and there is always dissatisfaction, irritability and low morale in the atmosphere.

Self-control is the ability to figure out the wise thing to do in any circumstances and then doing just that. Distraction will always be there, as will temptations to go astray and do what is more thrilling at the moment.

However, when you master self-control, you can restrain yourself so that you forgo instant gratification for the bigger vision: a life of success and less chaos.

In this era of social media and memes, it is easy to get caught up in the comfort of jokes about lacking self-control and end up thinking that everyone is failing the same way to organise themselves.

The danger of this is getting comfortable in a place where always being late, being unfaithful in relationships or being a chief procrastinator, for example, become the norm that you accept and find humorous.

However, the naked, sober truth is that being in this state causes significant damage to yourself and those you love. If you are always running late, your reputation suffers, causing people to distrust you. Of course, you risk losing out on promotions or other suitable opportunities if it is at the workplace. Lacking self-control towards those of the opposite sex causes pain to your partner and even your children. It simply destroys and weakens an otherwise beautiful family structure.

What about procrastination?

It is the thief of time, as the old saying goes.

One of the biggest tell-tales of an unbridled person is the habit of putting things off until later.

It always seems like you are liberating yourself to enjoy the moment, but mostly you don’t even get to enjoy the wasted moment that you could have used to get something important done. There is always lingering guilt eating you up inside, and the thought of regret yet to come doesn’t make it any easier.

This is what I came to conclude after studying human behaviour and self-control.

There are two parts on the inside of us, ever in contention concerning the next best decision.

One is a monkey or clown always ready to have fun and have it right now.

This side of you never wants to take anything seriously and can be as loud as the mature part allows him to be. It is the monkey that shows up while you are busy doing serious work on the computer to say, “Pause, let’s watch a comic clip for five minutes. We deserve the break, and it’s going to help us focus better after a little laugh” you know what follows that little short clip, more clips. Before you know it, you haven’t gotten much done, and anxiety is consuming you.

It is really up to you to put your wiser part at the forefront of decision making: tell that monkey to sit down and be stern about it.

It usually takes knowing that severe consequences await you to get to the point of seriously removing the monkey from the driver seat of your decision-making.

For example, if you risk humiliation in front of people or losing a job or even failing an important test, you find that you can enforce discipline. This means that even in less dire situations, you definitely can do the same. You just have to train yourself to do so.

Constantly reminding yourself that you are full of wisdom is one way to overcome the lack of self-control.

You need to hear it enough times to get all your members from the mind to the rest of the body acting in harmony to practice wisdom. Remind yourself that it is a serious matter for you to constantly lag in life because you just can’t get yourself disciplined.

Let the desired outcome and the bigger picture consume your mind so much that the instant temptation to stray away from it is overpowered. Practising self-control is like exercising a body muscle: it is painful at first, but it gets better with time. If you, however, stop whenever you need to restart, you should be prepared for the pain again. When you continue to do it every day, however, it soon becomes bliss.

At all times, therefore, identify the monkey in your system and ignore it.

Know the real you, the one who wants the best for your future. The mature, focused, wise part is clear about where you are going and how you should get there. Let that one take the lead, and you will begin to enjoy the fruits of organised and progressive life.